Many many years ago, co-owner sent me this email when he knew I used to have hamsters as pets. The story just tickled me till no end. Well, who knows many years later, we have our own funny hamster story.
Read this part one first before part two comes along. =)
~.~.~.~.~
If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!
Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet.
Here's what happened.
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's lying there looking sick," he told me.
"I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?" I put my best hamster-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed.
I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the hamster!"
"Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute.
"She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"
I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" (I reminded her, in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wonderful expirence, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, Gross!" they shrieked. "Well, isn't THAT just great!
What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too, don't you?)
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
"Its breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
"Okay, okay."
Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared.
I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
"I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc, a c-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is NOT in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen ... Ernie is a boy."
"What?"
"You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um .... um .... masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."
He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So Ernie's just ... just ... excited," my wife offered.
"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just ... that ... I'm picturing you pulling on its ... its ... teeny little ... " she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A Very Essential Problem (Part 1)
Hamsty Photoshoot
A sneak preview of the Hamsty X'mas photoshoot.
Show you my bum bum, la la la la la
Tra la la la la la *scoot off*
This Is An Emergency
Well well. Little Scratchy is no longer a baby, and he is a male. So at the prime of his life, he needs a little *ahem* comfort.
But sadly, not all male hammies in Hamsty can get a companion. So Scratch, you gotta make do with this. :s
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Too Fat Already
Oh man! Kopi you really need to exercise some self restraint. You eat alot and sleep alot! And now in the primetime of your life, you develop one big tummy that when you sit down, there are two folds of flabs!
My goodness, this is the first time I have seen a hamster with a two folds of fats in the tummy. You really need to lose weight. Your belly has gone bald because your tummy keeps rubbing the wheel when you run. (x_x)
Happy Hermie
Not sure why, but yesterday Hermie was in a very happy mood. (o_O) When we put him in the playpen, he was constantly standing up in the 'prairie dog' position and walking after our hands on his hind legs in excitement.
Errr, no. We did not give him any sugar rush. (??) Why are you so excited, Hermie?
Spritez Love
There might not be much time left for Spritez. Her tumor has grown bigger on her belly. So far, she did not shown any signs of pain nor discomfort. Is still eating heartily (big appetite) and moving around normally (less active in wheel running). But when a lump appears during old age, seriously there's not much time left.
We are still considering going to the vet because like co-owner says, it will be the same decision. In the meantime, we are keeping her cage clean and hygiene, giving her lotsa her fav. food and as well as more freedom in space. She is our priority hammie and we serve her first instead of the rest.
Not So Suitable
Poor Hamlet big girl.
The playpen cannot contain her. When she stands up, she is already 2/3 the height of the playpen fence. The wheel there is also too small for her to run.
In the end, she usually climbs over the fence....
And starts climbing all over me. -__-"
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Best Friend
Well, alot of people would say that predators and preys cannot co-exist together. I firmly believe that it's the nature instincts of the wild to fight for survival. But then again I also believe that inter-animal relationship is also possible. It just boils down to the animal's attitude and their knowledge. We have seen many true stories of inter-animal relationships, the elephant and dog, the lion and humans, the snake and hamster. So, this video is no exception.
Ain't it heart-warming?
Hmmm, I think for my hammies, they would treat someone larger than them as friend. Too domesticated already. Or rather, too trusting.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
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